One percent of something Harry Potteresque and I would be rolling in puppies for the balance of my days.

The kind that reflect back only what you bring to the table; which is to say that their reviews reflect more about the reviewer than the book they’re reviewing.

I agree. Many times it says that they have the comprehension of a kumquat because often the facts they claim aren’t there are very much there. Waving a red flag and beating a big bass drum, while wearing pink tulle and dancing en pointe.

But sometimes they spin things in ways incomprehensible, and there is nothing the writer can do.

I DO sometimes wish that I’d written a book that sells one tenth as well as Harry Potter.

Sigh.

They’d ask silly questions like, “Was writer traumatized when he was younger?” “Is this really a commentary on class warfare?” “Was the writer eating a lollypop and drinking Kool-Aid when he wrote this?”

Good grief. Do you have hammer to go along with that stake?